Thursday, March 15, 2012

Weekly Shenanigans

This week was a bumper crop of "chat worthy" news.  In fact, this week some of the front page news,  had tongues wagging.  Executive Director, Greg Smith posted a very public resignation letter that said that his employer, Goldman Sachs, put profit before people.  Who would of guessed????? (you get the dripping sarcasm here, huh???)  I am shocked to think that any financial institution is putting profits above the welfare of their investors.  (Still sarcasm, in case you're not following along.)  In part of his letter he said:

'To put the problem in the simplest terms, the interests of the client continue to be sidelined in the way the firm operates and thinks about making money.'.....How did we get here? The firm changed the way it thought about leadership. Leadership used to be about ideas, setting an example and doing the right thing. Today, if you make enough money for the firm (and are not currently an ax murderer) you will be promoted into a position of influence.

Well, see aren't you feeling murders don't work there.


Ohio Student Is in Hot Water

Technically, I guess, I should say he is NOT going to be in hot water as the University of Ohio is making him remove his 211 gallon, heated, jetted,  hot tub from his dorm room.  Kevin Lenahan, OU senior installed a hot tub in his  second story dorm room but after the administration got wind of it, they have told him to remove it.

For more than a month,(or 31 pool parties) Kevin and his fellow dorm mates have been enjoying the benefits of having an on-site spa but all of that is coming to an end. Not entirely without a fight, however.

Kevin maintains he did the necessary research prior to installing the tub.  He read the housing handbook and talked his resident assistant.  While the handbook does limit the size of small appliances, the heater of the offending tub is no larger than that of a coffee maker.

The university did give Kevin a list of  safety and health related reasons why they won't allow the hot tub to stay.  Things such as water leaks, heater malfunction that could result in a fire, humidity damage to the room, and the cost of the electricity to run the tub were given as some of the issues.

Kevin did comply and removed the tub...for now.  He is filing an appeal.

I am shocked....really, shocked that anyone would actually read the housing handbook.  Housing Handbook, The Sequel is being printed as we speak. 

No Child Left Behind...Well, maybe a couple

A person is left to wonder if the Chuck E. Cheese has something equivalent to the Bermuda Triangle. 
In less than a week, not one but two children have been accidentally left at Chuck's pizzeria.
The first incident happened in Maryland when a 3 year old named Harmony  was attending a birthday party.  Her parents were in both in attendance and have shared custody of the little girl. 

It wasn't until the little girl's parents, saw Harmony on the 11 o'clock news, that they realized that the girl was left behind at the Bel Air, Md. restaurant.  Both parents had been under the mistaken impression that the OTHER parent was taking Harmony home.  (Lesson one in parenting: Never assume anything)

Yet just days later, a 5 year old in Pearland, TX is left behind by a mother with 10 children. In this case the "forgotten child" is also the "birthday girl".  Not likely a birthday that will be forgotten anytime soon. The mother didn't notice the girl's absence until the following morning when she was getting the other children up to get ready for school.   A full nine hours after the party, the mother called 911 to report her missing child.

The explanation (is there, truly, an explanation?) was that there was a crowd of people at the party. There were 19 children and 9 adults which accounted for a lot of chaos. 

WOW...never say never...I am trying to figure out any instance that I wouldn't do a head count on my kids, but then counting to two, I guess is different than counting to ten.  Still...even with the distraction of the Whack-a-Mole game calling my name, I just can't imagine not missing a kid for 9 hours. 

It hurt, it really, really hurt

A cop who was arrested for assaulting his live-in girlfriend claimed that the victim had attacked him with a Justin Bieber doll during a confrontation in the couple’s Colorado home. Michael Nuanes described his girlfriend as the aggressor in the incident.  Nuanes, a Denver Police Department officer, told deputies that his girlfriend had “thrown things, pushed him, shoved him, grabbed him, bit him, slapped him with an open hand, attempted to strangle him and beat him up.” (wordy guy, don't you think?)

According to the report, Nuanes  pointed out a Justin Bieber doll that he claimed was the item used to injure him.” He claimed  that a thrown Bieber doll--the size of a standard Barbie doll--left him with a “bruise on the outside middle part” of his left foot.  According to him "It hurt".  (not so wordy, more concise).

the perpetrator

the weapon

When cops interviewed the 42-year-old victim, she reported that Nuanes picked a fight with her over “ultimatums” that included her changing her Facebook status to indicate that she was in a relationship with Nuanes.

During a subsequent tussle, the woman told deputies, Nuanes grabber her by the hair, threw her to the ground, and punched her in the ribs. A deputy photographed the victim’s injuries, which included bruises on her head, back, arm, and chest.

 Can I just say that this guy is a big ole cry baby...but I have to wonder about the girl friend as well.  What is up with the Bieber doll???

Bibbity Bobbity Boo or something close

This back page story caught my eye this week although I gather that Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop has been in the news before.  How I could have missed it with my nose for the bizarre, I do not know. 
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop,  was arrested on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a violation of probation in Madison, Wisc. His arrest was prompted by a call to authorities by his neighbors that complained of his excessive drinking and drug use.

 Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was born Jeffrey Drew Wilschke, according to court records.  He legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoopittybop-Bop-Bop in October. (who wouldn't want the name Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop Bop?)

Doesn't he look vaguely familiar???

According to Zopittybop-Bop-Bop's apparent Facebook account, when he's not in trouble with the law he enjoys activities including "eating," "standing," walking," "thinking," and "diamond." He's also single... so there's that.

 I have no words...speechless....I think Beezow used up all the possible letters.

When Time Is On Your Side

 It took 100 years for one B.C. man to tarnish his perfect driving record.

The centenarian was stopped for speeding in a school zone Tuesday, a shock to a traffic officer in the Victoria suburb of Saanich when she saw the 1911 birthdate on a driver’s licence, which was good for another five years.

The traffic officer pulled over the 100-year-old driver in a Buick Century when he was spotted going 50 kilometres an hour in a school zone, where the limit is 30 kilometres an hour.

The man had a flawless driving record, so the traffic officer gave him a warning ticket.

“I was shocked, not only at the 100 years of age, but the brand new five-year renewal driver licence,” said Const. Janice Carmena.

I wonder if the cop asked "What's your hurry?"  Lot's of possible answers when your 100, I would think. 


Nicky said...

I'm sorry Cheryl, but I have to correct you. According to Smith's statement, axe murderers DO work at Goldman Sachs. They just don't get promoted. Which is understandable. Bunch of axe murderers in upper management and it won't be long until everyone's running around like chickens without heads.

I almost didn't read about Hot Tub Boy because I haven't read the Housing Manual (I'm waiting for the movie to come out) and I was worried there might be spoilers! All I can say is "whew!".

Ok, the first clue you"re going to be forgotten at Chuck's? Your name is Harmony. The second clue you're going to be forgotten at Chuck's? Your parents are bringing you to Chuck's.

Oh yeah. That Justin Bieber. So gangsta.

Ok, changing your name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop? You may as well just put up a sign saying I'm a junkie and a criminal. Mind you, it also screams "Not of sound mind" for defense purposes so I guess he's not a complete idiot.

100 years old and still driving?! A part of me wants to cheer the old bugger and another part of me is REALLY happy he lives over on the other side of the country!

Great finds this week Cheryl!

Cheryl P. said...

Haaaahaaaa! too funny...I stand corrected...Axe murders are relegated to be underlings at Goldman Sachs.

I swear, (yes, I do....profusely) that on my Friday recap, I should send it over to you to do secondary comments in the body of the post. We could call it "She Said, She Said".

You have a hilarious way of looking at these already odd stories, often in ways that I miss.

I did happen to think of the Harmony name as being bad juju. Poor girl is destined for a life of misfortune. Her parents are being investigated for possible charges. I wonder if there are any laws on the books for "poor name assignment" to your kiddos. (I also, question their ability to make sound decisions, as you said...really Chuck's is a giant size petri dish of unknown and unamed bacteria. )

Beezow is mega KOO KOO for sure. I was ready to really go off on him but the fact that he looks like the portrait of Jesus is a little disconcerting. Not so much so that I didn't post his craziness on my blog.

oldereyes said...

Wow. Your image of Jesus is definitely different than mine. I think has a little Charles Manson vibe.

oldereyes said...

Seriously, how long does it take you to find this stuff? Great post.

Cheryl P. said...

Now that you mention it, my image of Jesus is rather obscure, more like a vague compilation of all the pictures of him. No two of course are alike. I think Beezow reminded me faintly of a portrait of Jesus because of the hair....Something akin to the picture of Sacred Heart of Jesus, by Charles Bosseron Chambers.

Note to self, though...if Beezow carved a swastika into his noggin he would be a dead ringer to Charles Manson. (ich) As they both seem to have a few nuts and bolts loose, I like that association bettter. Good call, Bud.

Cheryl P. said...

Longer than one would think and longer than one should be dallying at the computer. My capacity to waste time is infinite.

Junebug said...

I want to change my name. Hmmm...maybe to My Name or Supercalifragislistic Smith. Oh, the possibilities!

I'm impressed with the 100 year old driver. Way more impressed with being pulled over for speeding than if it would have been for a blinker he never turned off.

Cheryl P. said...

I wouldn't want to change my name just because my little 6 letter name has everyone completely stumped. No one can say it right, figure it out, or get it right. If I am sure I could come up with something easier like Smith or Jones but then I wouldn't be one of a kind.

I, too am impressed with the old driver. Props to a guy that can pass his test at that age and still have the guts to drive over the speed limit. I am impressed yes, but I am not sure I want him driving behind me. His reflex time might be a tad slow.

meleahrebeccah said...

* I am on Team Kevin. I hope his appeal allows him to get that spa-hot-tub back.

* Nothing good EVER comes out of visiting a Chuck E Cheese. Seriously.

* Um… that cop dude with the Beiber doll - WTF MAN. Grow Up!

* "He legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoopittybop-Bop-Bop in October." I AM DYING OVER THAT. DYING LAUGHING.

"According to Zopittybop-Bop-Bop's apparent Facebook account, when he's not in trouble with the law he enjoys activities including "eating," "standing," walking," "thinking," and "diamond." He's also single... so there's that.


Cheryl P. said...

I think the school should award hin the right to have his hot tub on the merits that he read EVERY effin word of the Housing Handbook. That has to be a first.

I think your are right about Chuck's place but on top of that these people should never leave the house, ever, ever with their children. The one with 10 just has lost control, and the one with the parent not getting a clue until they watched the news, they obviously need to take stock of their "attention to detail".

I had the same reaction to the cop. Really a cop???? What a puss.

My favorite of the week was the one with Zopittybop changing his name. I thought that was HIS-terical. And, yes, his facebook account put it over the top into ridiculously hysterical.