Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Bus is Loading....

My imaginary bus is in the process of boarding today.  For all of you creative thinkers out there, thanks for the  suggestion for "buscupants". (yes, I realize that I just made that word up)

To bring newbies up to speed, let's just recap.

My mind has many compartments.  One of those compartments is a double decker bus that I load and unload people that have in some way annoyed, irritated or just pissed someone off. That someone is usually me.  For today, however, I am loading people that my blogees have nominated for the "trip over the cliff" on my imaginary bus.

Since, my bus has been around for awhile there are already a few that have boarded and deboarded.  The present occupants are, in no particular order, Lindsay Lohan, Snooki, The Situation, and Charlie Sheen.
To be candid, I have others on the bus but haven't disclosed them to you blogees yet. I will get to the passenger roster momentarily.

The reason some of the riders have earned their seat may be obvious, while other may not seem deserving of the bus ticket we are bestowing to them.  All I can say is if you heartily disagree, either you can start your own imaginary transportation or shoot me an email and plead for the object of your objection to deboard. 

Here goes....

Tiger Woods, John Edwards,  Jesse James and Kelsey Grammer are all boarding simultaneously as they all have something in common. They are cheating dogs. (I apologize to the real canine dogs of the world for this comparison.  I am sure you all deserve better.)  These four will be seated  all in a row near the front of the bus.

Octomom Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin, of Kate plus 8 fame are, also, boarding together. They will be seated next to each other near the middle exit row just on the outside chance they need to get off quickly to relieve the babysitters.  I am sure they will have a lot to talk about and become fast BFFs.  I hope Nadya takes the opportunity to learn from Kate how to make serious dough with those kids of hers.  Kate seems to have a great business model  on "how to birth for worth".

I did have a vote for Muammar Gaddafi, but I have decided to create a separate transport in my head to deal with anything political as opposed to pop culture celebrities.  That would make for odd bus fellows.  I am thinking I will create a dirigible in my mind. That, too, needs to be a really BIG dirigible. Lots of politicians and lots of hot air.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is boarding the bus. Now this one might need a little explaining. If you are a big fan of Dr. Laura or a big fan of hypocrites in general, I will explain myself.  I am not a big fan of people that judge others to a standard that they themselves can't live up to.  Every time she uses her foul, judgemental language with words like "shacking up" (one of her favorites) I want to punch her in the face. Because I am a pacifist this is causing me to be very conflicted.  Since my sole method of lashing  out is by creating scenarios in my mind, it is getting a little crowded in my brain.

Dr. Laura left her first husband and moved in with her boyfriend for NINE years.  After getting her divorce ( at which time she was pregnant) did she marry her second husband.  YA KNOW, I don't have a problem with the shacking up so much,  (it's her life not mine) I  do have a problem with her demeaning others for the exact  same behavior.  If she was the "I'll live my life, you live yours" kinda girl, I wouldn't be having her along on my bus ride.

Dr. Phil....SAME SONG, DIFFERENT VERSE!!  He goes on TV touting the message that he is a "know it all and can fix anyone" kinda guy, but he has an ex-wife that seemingly doesn't think he's all that perfect.  Dr. Phil graduated from high school here in KC (Shawnee Mission  North High) married a cheerleader and moved her to Texas. In Texas he became a  "native" Texan and bought a health club/gym and went on to get some degrees.  According to multiple books and articles on the subject he ran into some problems down in the Lone Star state. A patient/client said he molested her, he divorced his wife who claims he was domineering and was very unhappy with her breast size.  I am just telling you what I read....feel free to look it up.  So Dr. Phil McGraw is my bus driver.  He earned the driver's seat on principle.  He gives the impression that he is a native Texan, which he isn't. Then he reinforces that perception by spewing cute Texas colloquialisms (you know, things like, If dumb was dirt, you would cover and acre and a half) with a drawl.
(is that drawl real???)

Also boarding today is the remaining Jersey Shore cast...I didn't want to keep them separated from Snooki and The Situation.

Mackenzie Phillips...for generally, being creepy and weird.  She had this incestuous relationship with her dad, that she says was consensual. MAJOR ICK  She goes on to write a book about it and seems to be shocked that people are SHOCKED.

The two Goddesses are boarding so they can be next to Charlie Sheen. He's winning you know and they have that whole wedge thing goin' on.

Brett Favre....just for being EEEWWWW, he gets a ride.

Rod Blogojevich...Now I know you are wondering why is is boarding, as I did say that politicians are exempt.  BECAUSE...he works more these days being a reality star than he does as a politician.  In fact, he has pretty much pissed away any likelihood of ever being a politician again. Also, there is the fact, I do allow clowns on my bus.

In addition to the people that are now sitting on the bus, I have a few sitting at the bus stop.  These people may or may not be boarding in the near future. Gary Busey (is he all rehabbed now?) and  Donald Trump (he and Gary are currently working together).  Trump may earn a seat soon as I find him generally annoying and for a man that has more than a few bucks, he needs a decent haircut.

Well, blogees, that is who is riding and waiting to ride today.  Feel free to communicate who needs to board or deboard our bus.  You can always suggest someone to hang out at the bus stop if you are on the fence as to whether they need to ride.

Just a reminder this is just silliness.  If you have something to say about who is in the game or not,  just send it along to

The Good for the Day...Just having some fun...

The Bad for the day.... That some people deserve to be on an imaginary bus

The Weird for the day..... The idea of an imaginary bus and/or the fact that my brain has so many compartments

WAIT ......HOLD THE BUS.... I just read in the Kansas City Star today, that Rod Blagojevich  has been asked to be a keynote speaker at a 2 day national conference for high school students learning about government.
The conference is being sponsored by Junior State of America who expect over 500 attendees from 13 states.  The conference is scheduled for April.  Doesn't Blago have any concerns with his new trial set to start on April 20th that this might be a scheduling conflict?   This brings  all new meaning to a clown being invited to entertain the kids.

No comments: