Wednesday, March 2, 2011
First Annual CODIP Awards
"I'm still alive, which is pretty cool," (Commentary: Well, he did get this one right)
Something to Be Proud of Award....goes to
“The last time I took drugs I probably took more that anyone could survive. I was banging seven gram rocks because that’s how I roll, I have one speed, go. I have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart. I got tiger blood man.” (Commentary: Not everyone can say that, but not everyone would want to)
The What's Not To Love Award...goes to....
“What’s not to love? Especially when you see how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards and all of them look like droopy-eyed armless children.” (Commentary, I think
that two out of those four might take offense. Sinatra and Flynn might not care at this point.)
Most Stupid quote by the Goddesses ....goes to...
'We run errands, we eat, we play with the kids, we watch movies, I watch a lot of Two and a Half Men', she adds. There is nothing broken here' (Commentary: Maybe not broken, but SERIOUSLY TWISTED!!)
The Most Offensive to Regular People goes to
"They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, 'I can't process it.' Well, no, and you never will! Stop trying! Just sit back and enjoy the show." (Commentary: While I am trying to figure out if I am the ugly wife or the ugly child, I will just say that I am having trouble processing it.)
The Most Outrageous Quote Award .....Again we have a tie....the awards go to.....
2. Right. Well, you borrow my brain for five seconds and just be like, ‘Dude, can’t handle it. Unplug this bastard. Because it fires in a way that is, I don’t know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm. When you have tiger blood and Adonis DNA, it's like, get with the program, dude.
(Commentary: There is no possible explanation for either of those statements, but let's assume that I for one don't want to borrow his brain.)
Well, that the end of our show!!!! As I am sure we all have seen enough of Mr. Sheen, I am having our entertainment portion of the program be something other that Charlie. While I was thinking of an appropriate band to sign off our awards show, I was a little stumped. I couldn't find a song called, "Guy coming down off crack and has a "I'm special so let's not pretend" complex. OK let's go with he is an ALL STAR in his own mind, anyway.
The Good for the Day...At some point this too shall pass.
The bad for the day....There will be some other celebrity waiting in line to behave badly.
The Weird....No REALLY COULD IT GET ANY WEIRDER THAN THIS????