Sunday, March 13, 2011

Here's to You George.......

What exactly does "get your Hoe Ready" mean?
This year, like every other year on the first morning of DST spring time shift, I am (figuratively) giving George Vernon Hudson the finger.  For those of you who aren't familiar with George, he is the genius that introduced the idea of Daylight Savings Time.  For what ungodly reason, you ask??  Because he was an entomologist that worked a day job and wanted more daylight time after work to look for BUGS.

As far as me giving George the bird, I suspect he could care less. (specifically due to the fact he has been dead since 1946) I guess he wouldn't care about my anti-time changing stance even if he was still living.  It served his purposes. He got the time he needed for the bug collection and all.

What kind of a narcissistic geek, makes the whole world screw with their clocks twice a year so he can work on his bug collection.  I am not a fan, George.

A. We don't live in a world anymore in which there is a clock or two in each house. The clocks we do have, aren't  as simple as moving the hour hand up one hour by nudging it with our finger.  Today we have dozens of clocks. They are on are stoves, microwave ovens, computers, phones, our cable boxes, our home theaters, our alarm clocks and our wrists. As in the case of one of my clocks that is supposed to self adjust, it went on strike this morning.  I fight this fight twice a year.  That particular clock has been banished to the guest bedroom.

B.  For every survey that is done to support the advantages of DST, there is a counter point survey that says it is a deterrent in some way.  Let's call it a tie.

C.  The National Golf Foundation says the extra daylight gives them a $200-$300 million dollar boost while Dept. of Agriculture says farmers suffer because they are losing valuable morning light to work by.  I guess you have to pick your team.  Who are you rooting for the golfers or the farmers?  Hey, think before you answer this.  Which team provides you with steak and potatoes??? Huh... how about the wheat flour that makes all the yummy things we can't get enough of???  Still not convinced... OK, how about the farmers that grow barley and hops?  Just sayin'....

D. A 2008 Swedish study found that heart attacks were significantly more common the first three weekdays after the spring transition but less in the fall transition.  Did they really need a study for this?  If we wake up in the spring at our habitual wake time we are "OMG, I'm late!!!!" where as in the fall we wake up at our habitual time we say "I can screw around for an extra hour. Now thats what I'm talkin' about."
(interesting note: the government of Kazakhstan cited this as the reason for abolishing DST in 2005. Must of been a few high ranking Kazakhstans that were having trouble getting up.)

E. Some of those studies research the effects on traffic.  Another big surprise (note the sarcasm) is that traffic accidents climb for the days and weeks after the spring adjustment.  DUH, again.  Everyone overslept and now they are running late. Late to work drivers make crappy drivers.

OK.  I think the answer is clear.  Leave the damn clocks alone.  (At least for the twice annual screwing with trying how to change the digital clock on my nightstand)  Let's just rework "how we tell time" once.  For one time only we need to change EVERY clock in world to a 15 hour clock.  We will have 30 hour days. 
We can use the extra hours by adding an hour and a half to our mornings and an hour and a half to our evenings.  You can sleep a little longer in the morning and play a little longer in the evening.  Cautionary note to employers, you can not add any of this time to any one's work day.  Did you hear me!!! I am serious, this is strictly to make more time to sleep and play.

Noon will now be 15:00.  Our work day will be something like 10:00-6:00 but you will not be going to bed till 13:00 o'clock so you have plenty of time to golf or go to happy hour.  Happy hour is now, happy hours.
Let's make happy hours from 5:00-7:00.  Now with not having to be to work till ten, you really have no excuse not to get up at about 7ish and get a little exercise in.  The beauty of this plan is that the world will now start losing some of the poundage.

Again, keep in mind, this plan will take some getting used to BUT it is a ONE TIME pain in the ass as opposed to twice every year.  

Well unfortunately, I am running late for church this morning so I gotta run.

The Good....I remembered to adjust my clock so I won't be the person walking into church as it is ending.

The Bad....For the next couple of weeks I will feel like I am getting out of bed at 4:20 instead of 5:20. Hate it.

The weird....The fact we are all being inconvenienced because some entomologist  wanted more daylight to look for bugs.

1 comment:

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Cheryl,
Once again you have made me laugh…15 hour day. Brilliant! I’ve had jet lag since Sunday. I’m still trying to go by the old clock, so I precede all my decisions by saying, “it’s really only (fill in the blank) o’clock.” So…. I’m staying up later, eating later, and sleeping later (the morning o’clock doesn’t count). Damn entomologists!