Friday, March 11, 2011

Adult Version of Hide and Seek.....

Before, I start with my nonsense for the day, I just want to say how much I appreciate those readers that are following me regularly.  Your readership is greatly appreciated.  I am probably going to post new material a little slower, so as new readers join us they will have a chance to get caught up a bit.  Always feel free to email me with comments  (artofconflicted@aol.com) or add them under the post.  I love hearing from you. This form of communication is the new substitute for us all to meeting for coffee every day.  Well, minus the meeting part and the coffee part but I would like you to have your turn to talk too.  .....Cheryl

As some of you know, my actual profession is a real estate agent.  I am somewhat hesitant to refer to myself as a real estate agent at this point, as I have been referring much of my business to other agents.  I am taking a bit of a break to pursue some other interests.  Besides the market is a mess right now and that makes me my mood nuckin' fugly. (I make up new words all the time, get used to it)

I won't bore you with all the details as it would take an entire book to explain how complicated it is to get something negotiated, appraised, a lender to underwrite a mortgage, and get both the buyers and sellers to the table without anybody sustaining bodily harm.  I could be a negotiator for the FBI and need less skill.  Maybe I should send in my resume.  At this point, I went back and got yet another certification to help me step through the mine field that is real estate.  My piece of paper with the big CREN (certified real estate negotiator) symbol on it would be more impressive to today's buyers and sellers if it had a big HGTV logo on it.  


 So during my "slow down" I decided to joins some type of fun and interesting "group" and sign up for some volunteerism.

I suppose that at some point I will have to make a decision as to what I need to do for a job, but for today I am needing a break.  One of the things I learned with those 21 moves is that looking for a new job is the modern version of being tarred and feathered.  You will survive it but it isn't pleasant.

I have been looking around Olathe, KS  for clubs or group to which I might want to affiliate with.

Here are some of my  choices:

The Greater Kansas City Skeptics Club  or
Midwest Skeptics Club  or
KC Women's Skeptics Club.......
I suppose if I would decide to go to one of these, I would pick the Women's Skeptic Club. It sounds smaller and cozier but ...I don't know...I'm skeptical

The Pagan Temple for Families and Solitaires or
Opal Moon Coven (Wicca group) 
I doubt that these groups are quite my style but if I would ever run into Christine O'Donnell and she would say "I am not a witch, I am just like you"  THEN I could say "Guess, what? YOU'RE A WITCH!!!

Oh and the other good thing about the Pagan Temple is they encourage Druids to join in. (who knew that there were Druids in KC???) See how educational my blog is.  You learned something new didn't you??
Perhaps, I need to find out the qualifications of becoming a Druid.


KC Big Losers
There are a lot of weight lose related clubs but I don't qualify now.  They should of reached out to me when I lived in Nebraska. (see post Fat Bigot) There is a certain appeal though, for me to be able to tell everyone I'm a Big Loser. I would even do the thumb/finger thing in front of my forehead. 

Kansas City Drum Tribe- 
again, I don't qualify but I love the fact that they are a tribe. That appeals to me.  In my next Christmas letter I could say: This is the year Cheryl joined a tribe.  Sounds catchy, don't you think???

KC Freethinkers
I read the write up for this one and was greatly disappointed.  They aren't really freethinkers so much. You have to be agnostic or atheist to get in this group.  From my point of view they are being a little narrow minded. If they were REALLY freethinkers, everyone would be welcome.

Drinking Liberally Club
The Army of the Beerlords
I think the fact that I suffer from Alcohol Intolerance  (see post They Got It From Me) might get in the way of these clubs.  There is the fact that I am always ready to be the designated driver. Maybe they could make me their mascot. There would be the added bonus that if I joined the Beerlords group, I could send emails to everyone I know saying "I joined the army!!

KC Tough Mudder
This one sounds like fun. The intro says: This is not your average lame-ass mud run.. it's Ironman meets Burning Man.  Does this mean after we are done running in the mud we get to start a big fire?

Provocateurs and Peacemakers
This one sound interesting.  In this group the agnostics, atheists, Christians, and secular humanists debate and discuss their ideologies.  I wonder which of those categories are the provocateurs and which are the peacemakers.  I am relatively sure that there would be some new things for me to be conflicted about.
Better not take the chance.

Kansas City Extreme Sports
This one doesn' give much information.  I am curious what the extreme sports might be though.
Trying to cross Interstate 35 at rush hour????  Getting through Nebraska Furniture Mart in under a half hour??? Trying to get an accurate count of the self-serve yogurt stores that have opened in the last year????
(for you that don't live in KC, you might not appreciate how daunting of a task that would be....big numbers involved)


Knotty Knitters, Happy Hookers and Salacious Spinsters ..
I am sure you think I made this up.  I didn't...really...google it.
This group might be fun just so I could tell hubby I joined a club that has happy hookers in it.

The BFF Women's Club- 
This one sounds harmless enough but as usual I have a story that relates to BFFs.  I am very cautious these days.  (maybe I should reconsider one of those groups for skeptics)

Five years ago upon moving here,  I joined a "newcomers" type of group so I could meet some other women that were new to the area.  I jumped in with both feet. The group needed a website so I volunteered to create  one and maintain it.  That seemed like a good way to get involved and learn something new at the same time.

A few months after I had the site up and running, I was contacted by another web administrator  that maintains  a similar site  for a different  club.  She suggested we meet for coffee.  OK, seemed like a good idea.  Perhaps we would have something in common. 

The first time I met ...let's call her Julie...all seemed pleasant.  She seemed "normal" enough. We had a nice conversation and went our separate ways.  WELL...a couple of days later I see she has joined the group that I maintain the website for.  Perhaps she just thought it sounded like a nice group.  Not long after that, she shows up at another group I was involved in.  This is where I noticed WEIRD coming into play.

The second group that Julie showed up for was a morning meeting for  "positive minded" professional women that meet for upbeat conversation and coffee on Tuesday mornings at 7:00 AM. (For those of you out there wondering how they possibly let me in their group,  my response to you is,  I come across very cheerful while analyze all that is right and wrong in the world.) 

At some point, I figured out I had picked up a stalker.  It never occurred to me that stalkers came in the "just wanting to be a best friend" form.  According to Julie, she  thought we would make the best of friends.
Now you are thinking, what is wrong with me that I am not open to a new friend.  Here is the deal!!

Julie is a Freakin' NUT.  I am not dramatizing this for effect. I am not using poetic license. Really, she is a nut.

I am going to narrow it down to one example and even on that one I have to clean it up for the sake of maintaining a post that won't get tagged "for mature audiences only". 

Julie tells me that her 16 year old son is sexy.  Inherently there is something creepy when a mom is describing how sexy her kid is.  According to her he is  really attractive to the ladies.  To substantiate how much charisma this kid supposedly has she tell me he is having an affair with a co-worker at his part time place of employment. He works at a big box home improvement store and the co-worker is older than he is. Again, according to her, her kid is just so appealing and so mature for his age it would only make sense. To her this is an affirmation that her child is special.  The uncondensed version of the  story she told would make your hair curl and your stomach hurl.

I come back with something to the intended effect of "You do realise that you are demented  and have you considered what if he gets her pregnant?"  Julie is offended that I am throwing negatives at the whole romantic notion she has swimming in the vacant cavity that is her skull.  She comes back with a "He's too smart for that?"  I could be jumping to conclusions here but the fact that Julie is this kid's mother,  might lead me to the assumption that he isn't all that smart. No matter if we are talking genetics or environment, this kid is screwed. (figuratively and literally) Just for the record, she told a host of other little anecdotes that were equally disturbing. This was the most extreme case of TMI that I have ever dealt with.  Did I mention she is a nut?

I was hopeful that after our drastically different points of view on proper decorum for 16 year olds, that Julie and I would be circulating in different circles.  Seemingly, she wants us to just agree to disagree on some subjects and continues to show up at activities that I participate in. Additionally, she feels the need to tell everyone she speaks with that she and I are BFFs. 

I continue to go to my groups and try to play nice as I can from a distance.  Again, I find myself conflicted.  If and when I join another group in the future I am hopeful to find a group that Julie isn't part of and hope against all hope that she doesn't track me down and join.

So, I will quit blogging today and ponder the big mysteries of where I belong. 



Talk to you later.


The Good for the Day.... Finding good friends that share your values

The Bad for the Day....Stalkers


The Weird for the day....Strange moms with strange values  If you are wanting to interact with Julie,  she sells used bras on the KC Craigslist.  (I am serious!) She says her 13 year old daughter has a great rack (her words) and goes through a lot of under garments.  ??? NUTS ???



Here is a song about a different Julie.  Sounds like this one is a good one.



11 comments:

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Cheryl,
I’m sorry to hear about your BFF (Bizarre Faux Friendship) my experience with these types is give them No hope! Planned ignoring works well, as does faking a contagious illness, pretending to be gay (only if they’re straight!) and asking them for money…they hate that. If all else fails you could join The Order of Vestal Virgins, they are famous for taking long vows of silence. That would kill her. *grin
Good luck with this one!

Cheryl said...

You are too funny. I truly am laughing out loud. Just doesn't do it justice to condense it down to LOL

Cheryl said...

Oh, Leah, One more thing. It's a little too late for the whole Vestal Virgins thing for me.
Hubby and kids would blow my cover.

Ella said...

What a bizarre woman. Something's not right upstairs- a mother just doesn't see her children that way. I'm skeptical she's a really a mother.....maybe she's stalking these kids and she thinks she's really their mother. Just like she thinks she's really your BFF.
Love your blog!

Cheryl said...

Ella, I hit reply on your comment and am not sure if that really emails you back. Just in case....I suspect that this person has arrested development. She is trying to be her kids friend and act like she's still a teen. Totally weird.

barbara said...

I don't know Cheryl, I can't even imagine teens talking like that about another member of their own family. First time she made a suggestive remark about her own son you should have jumped up and acted mortified. Maybe that would have given her a hint. (or not) Some people just don't get it.

As for the new followers, they can just sit down and read all your blogs in one evening like I did. They are so much like having a conversation with you that after I stop laughing I want to turn to you and make a remark.

Cheryl said...

Thank you for that. That is exactly what I would like for this blog to be. Like we are sitting over coffee (in my case diet coke) and talking about the stuff that is on our mind. I really appreciate your reading my stuff.

barbara said...

No need to thank me, I thank you. You make me laugh every day and I feel like laughter is really important. Your sense of humor is great, your style of writing is great. I love your blogs.

barbara said...

I don't know Cheryl, I can't even imagine teens talking like that about another member of their own family. First time she made a suggestive remark about her own son you should have jumped up and acted mortified. Maybe that would have given her a hint. (or not) Some people just don't get it.

As for the new followers, they can just sit down and read all your blogs in one evening like I did. They are so much like having a conversation with you that after I stop laughing I want to turn to you and make a remark.

Cheryl said...

You are too funny. I truly am laughing out loud. Just doesn't do it justice to condense it down to LOL

Cheryl said...

Thank you for that. That is exactly what I would like for this blog to be. Like we are sitting over coffee (in my case diet coke) and talking about the stuff that is on our mind. I really appreciate your reading my stuff.