Thursday, March 24, 2011

Who Needs a Suitcase?

I was listening to the world news the other evening and an interesting (in a sick, gross kind of way) story came on.  It was about a California man that had been arrested  and jailed on a narcotics conviction. It turns out that the man was hiding some contraband on his person.  Well....actually IN his person.  The investigating officers that did a strip search found a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco and $140 in cash.  

The strip search and cell inspection were done because a jailer detected the smell of marijuana.  Here's the interesting part.  The jailed man smuggled his illicit items into jail via his rectum.  Ouch!  When asked if he was in pain, he said no, but he did say that his a** was bleeding.  (no wonder, with it being made into a prison convenience store and all)

I found it equally interesting...well ...maybe not equally...that the personnel were quoted as "wondering how he planned to charge the cell phone".  Really, guys, that is what you are wondering???? Also, you might want to double check to make sure there isn't a missing charger up someone's hoo ha.

Now if that wasn't the most bizarre story I had heard of in a while when I get a "share" on Facebook from one of my "funniest ever" friends telling me about a women in Scranton, PA who was taken into custody after robbing the Dunnmore Inn then crashing her car.  (there are probably a ton of jokes to be made with the Dunnmore reference and this lady but I won't take the time today) Again, upon a search at the police station the officer found 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, eight prescription pills, and $51.22 in cash  up her vagina.  I find this amazing!!! (kind of gives new meaning to the phrase "delivering a controlled substance" doesn't it?)

Two stories within two days, had me wondering .... "How common is this?"  More common than a person might think. After doing a little research, I found a virtual cornucopia of "smuggling" stories, although the sheer quantity of goods contributed to these two, kind of make them the super stars of "orifice packing" convicts.

I am thinking when these two get out of jail, they really need to meet each other.  Sounds like they might share some similar interests and hobbies.  They might really be "made for each other."  I, also, had the thought that they might be able to travel the world and add to their already accounted for $199.22.  Just think of all the baggage fees they could save if they continue their current packing habits.

If you are wanting to look this particular stories up here are some links for you.  If these links don't open, just copy and paste into your browser.

Just when you thought things couldn't get stranger, THEY DID.

The good for the day.... I am thankful not to be either of these two cell-ebrities.

The bad for the day.... The poor people that were the chosen  "strip searchers"

The Weird for the day....Self explanatory.  Just doesn't get any weirder than this.

Today's video asks the question as posed by our "locked (into a cell) and loaded" losers to the jail personnel....

Question:    Do You Want to Touch Me?
Answer:     That would be NO. NOT THERE!!!


Brandon said...

$51.22 up there? Was the 22 cents in change really necessary? Yikes, some pretty strange stuff.

Cperz said...

Very strange! A couple of my facebook buddies said.

"Tell me that money isn't still in circulation."

"That will be $5.21. Oh,wait, I have some change right here."

Cheeseboy said...

Didn't realize you could FIT that much stuff up there. I bet the charger is charging his colon right now.

LOL @ Cheryl's FB comments.

Cperz said...

Hi Cheeseboy,
That was my first thought. Evidentally, size does matter when packing for a "staycation" at the local jail. I didn't think that those particular body cavities should be the size of 21 inch carry-on.

Leah Griffith said...

Contemplating the actual act of "packing" and the subsequent act of "finding" has left me with just one word to say...."YUCK!"

Bodacious Boomer said...


The first time I heard of that was in the movie, Papillion, with Dustin Hoffman. Prisoners on the way to Devil's Island kept their valuables up there. Didn't always work out too well for them.

Cperz said...

Crazy, huh? My kiddo #2 went to Ole Miss in pre-law. He said there was a course there that talked about evidence that was obtained from various "dark holes". The thing about these 2 is the volume of stuff. WOW not only creepy but leaves a person wondering???? I don't think I have any parts that would hold that much.